The inner champion

If you’re at all self-critical, if you carry a lot for others, if you’ve suffered a setback, or if you just feel depleted, meet your new inner champion: the herbal supplement for self-compassion.

I’ve written about self-compassion before, and it always sits top of mind for me because of the world in which I work.

Having high expectations for oneself can be a great thing, but self-criticism can be much less helpful—and when it intersects with the world of beauty, it can be downright damaging, whether we’re peering at our faces in the mirror and wondering why they’re not as poreless as the ones we see on Instagram or fighting with hair that refuses to sit like a model’s in an ad campaign.

Even when you look fantastic on the outside, your mind might lead you to a different conclusion: this gap between how we look and how we see ourselves is what I wanted to address next, and Bach flowers felt like just the right tool.

Bach flowers 101

Bach flower essences are natural, non-habit-forming tinctures made from flowers and plants; they work in a way that’s similar to homeopathy, but for emotions, and I’ve used them religiously myself for about a decade.

To me, their efficacy is as much about the practice of taking them as it is about what they contain. Because they’re taken for specific emotional states, they prompt you to notice how you feel, name those feelings, and take a deliberate, positive action in response: a process shown in multiple peer-reviewed studies to be surprisingly powerful for emotional well-being.

What makes this blend of flowers special

No one makes Bach flower essences like my friend and Bach flower mentor, Gérard, who founded Les Fleurs de Bach - Elixirs & Co, a Parisian brand we’ve sold at Ayla for many years.

Years ago, Gérard and I began to collaborate on a supplement for self-compassion, a need we both recognized. There’s a unique challenge involved in the creation of a Bach flower blend that can be universally helpful for self-compassion—we all need it, or lack it, for different reasons—so it took a lot of time, discussion, debate, and testing (the full story is on Substack).

What we ended up with is, in my view, perfect: it’s more complex than any other blend, unfolding over time in a beautiful way that leads to a greater feeling of ease, acceptance, release, and resilience. I could take it every single night, forever, and I’m guessing you could, too.

The Self-Compassion Elixir contains seven Bach flower essences, wild-harvested in France by Gérard himself:
- Agrimony & Crab Apple inspire courage and clarity
- Pine & Oak ease self-judgment and make space for flexibility
- Centaury & Willow support boundaries and ownership, turning self-acceptance into action
- Holly restores the balance required to give and receive love more freely

Because Bach flowers were originally developed by Dr. Edward Bach with a sense of openness and transparency, I always share what’s in each blend. However, due to the level of quality you’ll find with these essences, their specific harvesting locations and processes, and the generous dilution ratio we use (originally set forth by Dr. Bach, but decreased by other brands over time), I don't think it's possible to replicate the effect of this formula using single essences you might find elsewhere.

How the essences are preserved: this is unique, too

After Gérard prepared the essences using wildflowers he found throughout France, we preserved them with a super-high-quality brandy—the only certified biodynamic brandy made in the US—that's crafted in California by a firecracker of a woman named Gena, whom I adore. Gena grows all of the grapes for her brandy on a farm her family has run for three generations, practicing soil conservation and crop rotation and using no synthetic fertilizers or pesticides; their vineyard was the first in the US to be certified biodynamic, in 1995, and I could not adore their pioneering spirit more.

Gena’s brandy has a slight golden hue from its aging process; in France, it would be labeled an XO brandy—aged at least 10 years to give it a pleasantly vanilla-like scent. (In case you’re wondering if it’ll make you feel loopy: each serving contains less alcohol than you’ll find in a slice of bread.) 

How to take the Self-Compassion Elixir

Take 4 drops in a glass of water or directly under the tongue, up to 4 times per day. You can also add it to your bath water (I add 8 drops to each bath). And use the elixir as a tool to remind you to practice the steps below, inspired by the work of Dr. Kristin Neff: 

1. MINDFULNESS
First, notice what you're struggling with; can you physically feel that discomfort? Try to name it. Then, add your drops to your water, your bath, or under your tongue.

2. COMMON HUMANITY
As you drink your drops or ease yourself into your bath, remind yourself that other people have experienced this, too. Putting your hands over your heart can help.

3. SELF-KINDNESS
Finish by asking yourself, “What do I need to hear right now?” It might be:
- I can accept myself as I am.
- I can forgive myself.
- I am strong enough to take this on.
Say it to yourself as much as you need to, feeling it in your core.

And remember, repetition is what helps self-compassion become second nature.

An important note

Wondering if self-compassion will make you overly soft? More than 15 years of research, replicated by multiple labs, shows that self-criticism doesn’t drive achievement; it makes people want to hide rather than risk trying again.

Self-compassion is not an invitation to go back to bed, pull the covers up, and opt out. It’s a comforting hug, sure. But it’s also an encouraging nod, a release of self-limiting beliefs, and a gentle hand on the shoulder, turning you toward your next step with courage, ease, and self-respect. To me, the Self-Compassion Elixir is quiet power, bottled.

Grab your bottle (or gift a bottle) here, and pair it with a Sea Soak and a set of lymphatic brushes for a beautiful letting-go ritual.

This is a special one. I hope it's as helpful to you as it has been to me.

xx Dara